iMovie
Fifteen second video with logo in it. Open up iMovie and upload photo onto screen; call Johnathan Focke and have voice recorded with video. Negate Boulder 2011; upload video onto iMovie; edit frames.
John Galligan; Moose; family; beer “what do I do wrong?”
There is a game called: What am I doing wrong?”
Re: Social Media
John Galligan: You don’t look busy enough.
Multiple choice: John thinks I am not busy. Why might that be?
A) I am not busy; business is tanking.
B) It is winter.
c) I do not have a camera guy taking photos.
D) I do not have an automatic photo processing booth on top of head during a tune-up.
E) None of the above.
F) It is difficult to remember to take pictures when a client is present.
G) People feel awkward when you take their picture.
H) Declaring that your mug will appear in advertising only turns some people on.
I) No equipment.
J) Unaware how to upload interval pictures.
Bike Snob NYC is gonna get done in for his dislike of football by the navy launching soccer balls at his bicycle.
Respect: Bike Snob NYC is my Putin to the United States’ Russia
I asked Putin for one of his 6,000 nukes. I might need it. The holy people of India have nukes. It is claimed by smart people that owning nukes represents a balance of power. I want one. Having one would be instant international respect. Protecting interested parties from trying to take my only nuke would be more difficult than manifesting one.
Thinking about the country of India made me think about Native American Indians. If nukes were invented during Coloumbus’ day, then the chiefs could have peacefully displayed their variety of nukes to the English sailors as a starting point for negotiations.
Me: I want to show people my nuke.
Putin: No.
The meeting with Putin didn’t go well. They tend to be short and full of direct answers.
I think he is being direct. When he showed up to the G20 conference with a battleship contingent and a nuclear sub popping up to say hello, only a few people missed his point.
Bringing back the Cold War might help with this climate change thing.
The Patriots postponed their parade because it is difficult to truck nukes around in heavy snow. Putin does it; but only out of necessity. They typically don’t bust them out for parades. Actually; that is a guess. I am not privileged to know what Putin does in the confines of Russia.
Standard Bike Repair’s spies concentrate on the local Boulder bike shop scene. The rumors; who is doing who; and who is gearing up for war. There is no price collusion meeting on a weekly basis so far as I know. If there was, I would probably be heading the committee.
Conspiracy stories in the NFL
It hard to tell what is true; the stories are so entrapping whether it matches the alternative theory or presents a straighter version. Bike Snob NYC loves to speak of his disdain for people concussing themselves. Guys getting up like heroes and continuing to game does not inspire him.
I am torn; Bike Snob NYC inspires me. Football greatness inspires me too. All the way to the weekly 10am Sunday morning flag football game at Fairview High School that goes down year-round.
The NFL only plays during the dying months. That is why they are so into hurting each other.
Flag, I mean fag, football. No one respects flag football. Queer is good. This blog is queer.
Maybe Bike Snob, thinks that a game that can include hate as part of the winning formula might not be a good idea for our society to gather around.
Chips! Drinks! Hate!
Hold on: there was none of that at the Superbowl party that I went to: two floors of family members, chips, drinks, babies and a grandfather.
Bike Snob NYC is the king of bike blogging. I am a mental midget.
The New England Patriots parade postponed their parade “because of snow”. The party planners weren’t prepared to drive the nukes around the city of Boston.
Marshawn Lynch would beat Tom Brady in an MMA brawl. According to the Jim Rome show, there is a small contingent of folks who would like to see weapons allowed into the octagon, where they fight in a cage.
The four biggest proponents for this new wrinkle are Jim Rome, his fans, this guy and sadistic people.
Tom Brady does not win this fight unless there are rules to manipulate and weapons to choose.
Weapons allowed: Chineses stars, nukes, switchblades, sticks and protective gear.
Tom Brady vs. Marshawn Lynch
The Rules of Weapons Filled Octagon Fighting
The less underprivileged guy gets to choose the weapon first. Then the opponent gets to choose.
No changes may be made to the choice of weapon once the initial call is made.
Rome: I am trying to think of one-liners for your show. Takes.
Speaking of Mr. Jim Rome; today he mentioned the idea of “championing the cause of sharing the road with cyclists”. I did not know there was any champions of a seemingly normal thing to expect besides Bike Snob NYC.
Bike Snob NYC writes about cars nailing people and getting away with it. By getting away with it, they are either fleeing or not being pressed hard by the law.
Humans are like lemmings; killing each other. Being stupid.
As some dude who lives in Los Angeles, I had no idea till now that Rome knew that drivers intentionally making it uncomfortable for riders happens a lot.
Rome supports peace, love and sharing the road.
I wonder how many partying drunk drivers run cyclists off the road.
This is the Age of Hypocrisy. Ten points if you can find my flaw.
Lance, if you are reading this, I want to be your friend. I am disguised by the internet.
If you do, I challenge you to a fight in the octagon with weapons. I choose the Chinese star.
I spy.
Russian spies were at the game.
The Russians figured out how to pull nukes around the snow. 1 Patriot Place has a an arsenal. The nuke silos are disguised as fireworks displays at the football stadium.
If Russia would have nuked us during the Superbowl, we would have risen up from our couches and chips and fired 5,800 of our approximately 6,000. A few left over to save and bomb anyone else who tries to stick a knife in us.
When I was a teller at a bank in the United States, I realized that only a few Americans have thirty thousand bucks in their checking account.
North Korea has more conventional submarines than we have nuclear and diesel. They are working on busting out their first nuclear submarine. Certain people; i.e. pessimistic people think that there is no chance that the crazy man will be able to build a delivery vehicle. “Where there is a will, there is a way” is what my mom taught me.
Kim Jong-un’s mother: “When you grow up, you will feel that your country is small; however, you can make it big by playing big.”
I made that up; The Interview’s writers left me off the team “this time”.
I should probably ease off writing about nukes. I am attracting the attention of agents, Russia and Belichick. Bike Snob is working the cold shoulder.
Kim Jong-un, if you are reading this, I am too scared to be your friend. I am deeply apologetic about my idiot friends and The Interview. My favorite part where you were the cool guy showing what’s-his-name around. I want to pay basketball with you on a private court followed by play. Do not nuke us. That would make us less likely to be friends.
I believe in you. Everyone says that you can not deliver a nuke. You could send twenty planes our way; or fuel up the submarines. I know you could do it.
I paid twenty bucks for this blog excerpt from Blog Mutt. Every week, a new blog come into my mailbox that I have to reject or accept. I rejected the first three and then let the rest come.
Richard Brautigan died before we could get all his words out of him.
This thing where other dudes write for you is exciting. I love how they make me a focal point.
Courtesy of Blog Mutt.
When you see the homemade looking Standard Bike Repair logo on the outside of the door you’ll immediately realize this is a business that’s anything but standard. It was started approximately five years ago by passionate biker and risk taker Ryan Kelley, and is more a labor of love then just a plain old bring in your bike and we’ll provide the labor that will fix it shop.
Minimalism is the word of the day at this shop which takes up 444 square feet. If you peek behind the curtain you’ll see where Ryan lives, the actual shop is only 62% of the space. Come prepared to get your hands dirty, or not, it’s your choice. Transparency is the practice, customers are invited to view the work and learn how to repair or tune-up their two-wheeled mode of transportation. It’s your money and you should be able to see how it is being spent on the maintenance, there’s no mystery just a few parts and labor.
As you can imagine anyone with this sort of passion is a busy guy so be sure to contact Ryan for an appointment. If you have the part you need to have installed just bring it along and you’ll pay only a labor fee. The shop stocks lots of parts (given the available space how is a mystery) but if they don’t have what you need, it will be ordered and delivered generally within a week or so. While cost is a concern for most remember transparency? There is a menu of services and parts clearly printed on the website and in the shop, so no nasty surprises here.
The biking community in Boulder is an active one and sponsors two ride your bike to work events, one in the winter and one in the summer. Bet you can guess that Ryan thinks everyday should be ride your bike to work day. If you’re not already a bicycle enthusiast once you have your bike cared for at the anything but standard Standard Bike Repair shop you will be.
–End Blog Mutt Post
How is it? When I was a bank teller, there were more twenties in the vault than any other bill. Hundreds add up quickly and we only need so much on hand. Twenties spew out of that ATM machine.
Ones; we needs them. Today’s tips. Yesterday’s penny. Is it fair to put the squeeze on Russia via holding the oil supply prices low? If I was Russian and I had all those weapons, the desire to conquer and “know when to hold ’em, know when to fold them”. Who are our enemies? As a individual and a participant in a nation are two different answers. According to spacewar.com, almost every country in the world is gearing up for something. It would be so cool to get a new delivery of missiles. Some other country would sell them to you and you would be like “isn’t this a conflict of interest?” And it would be agreed that it was; nothing can be done about it, because it is politics. War: what is it good for? War: Gronk acting like a slow-day rafter in Tom Brady’s moat. I copied that from Jim Rome.
According to Google Analytics, three hits came from the Russians in Samara Oblast, a federal subject of Russia, within two hours of the blog posting. Spent 12 minutes and 47 seconds on average between the three versions. Either they are blindly hacking my site like the Russians are famous for. Or they like my blog.
Update: within 24 hours of this post; it was Tweeted, but not released on Facebook. Yet, two Russians have Liked the Standard Bike Repair Facebook page since publication. It must be the guys who Samara Oblast. Since Samara is on the southern part of the Russian empire, I am assuming that it is the part of Russia that does not have snow on the ground every day of the year. KGB in disguise as Facebooking Russians.
The first picture of one of the Russians to have Enjoyed! the page was wearing a soccer jersey perfectly clean standing with school children and Ukraine written on the shield.
This is like the conspiracy theorist that Rob Lowe plays in those commercials. Big Brother is watching according to documentaries that I have seen on Netflix.
Spokes and pokes.
Beer; dear; Stout Month; Mountain Sun
Rome mentioned the other day: one fighter was tested positive for lettuce and one fighter was positive for roids. They were on their favorite drugs for the fight.
Rome and I are championing octagon fights with weapons. Option 2: choose your drug. Fight.
