Entourage Fee

Entourage fee: if you bring your entourage, there is a “special fee.”

Effective June 19th, 2017

Introducing: If you bring the Secret Service, requiring us to “shut down the shop,” it is obvious that “you have a lot of money.” Thus, Standard Bike Repair is seeking to “fix the previous mistake of the bike shop” that “waved off an attempt to pay by John Kerry’s team.” He stated, “That it was his honor and as a human being, it feels best to treat him with respect.”

Whoever from the Secret Service that was “dealing with the invoice” at that point “would not accept no payment of any kind.”

“Free” was not an option. Thus, the Secret Service agent, “practically forced” a payment of $20.

As a former bank teller of four years at U.S. Bank in Boulder, Colorado, I learned that the “number 1 most popular bill” meaning “the bill that dominates the other stacks of money on the counter.”

In a bank, the “dominant bill” is the $20. I call it 2017’s $1 bill.

$20 = $1 from “way long ago.”

Had Ryan not heard of the John Kerry/Secret Service story “before it happened,” I probably would have acted in a similar way.

However, I think “getting paid $20 is insulting if it is truly 2017’s version of the $1. If I were to say “Thank you for doing your best to allow peace, there is no charge for the day,” I would hope that would be “enough.”

If not, I will not accept $1. The “Presidential Entourage Fee with Secret Service” is $1000.

If Standard Bike Repair has to close down the shop to “fix a serious bike issue,” we will do so with professionalism and peace.

However, there will be a charge, if the Secret Service accepts.

It would be fun. It would be a great day. Hopefully, I would be able to fix “the important person’s bike.” I hear the “last time,” Secretary of State Kerry’s issue was “cross-chain.” Cross-chain is a pattern of gears where you choose the opposite level of hardness between the front and back gears. Because, it is opposite, the gear operates in the middle, but on the bike, the chain is stretched and angled to accommodate the higher and lower gears of each side, and thus presenting extra noise due to the chain rubbing the front derailleur on one of the sides of the cage and the derailleur being stretched or under-utilized.

I did not include pictures. If you would like to know what “cross chain” is, please bring in your bicycle. Cross-chain is easier to see in person, than read.

At Standard, I seek to “show you how to use your bike.” We call it Watch/Help/Learn.

Generally, we charge $60 per hour. For Secret Service “by the day” it is $1000.00